Spherical relating

What does it take for a relationship to be sustainable? We all have an idea of the necessary components. Yet even promising relationships either explode or fade into apathy more often than we expect. The roadmap we’re using seems to be missing something. “Spherical relating” refers to leaving the map in order to pick up […]

What Sets OM Apart (OM part III)

As we’ve said, OM exploits the effects that female orgasm has on women and men. It gives her the direct orgasm she didn’t think was available, and gives him the empathetic orgasm he didn’t know he was hungry for. OM isn’t the only orgasmic practice—far from it!—but it does have some features that set it […]


Vibrators and Porn

These two technologies reveal a critical difference between men and women—that may surprise you! Men’s “machinery” isn’t all that hard to operate. Rub, rub, rub, squirt squirt squirt. Not complicated. A typical adult male has easy access to as much climax as he wants; he doesn’t even need a partner. Is that a gratifying experience? […]


Orgasm and Climax

Let’s start with a concrete description of “female orgasm.” We have an intuitive sense of what orgasm is, and an inkling that it’s different in women than in men. So let’s begin with how men’s bodies respond, because it tends to be pretty consistent: First, there’s a spike in sensation. Then there’s what’s called the […]



  hey gather outside the locked, guarded door. There is an eager, impatient mulling. There’s chatter; and watches checked too often, as if time were an unruly child in need of constant monitoring; and a gentle press into each others’ personal space, forcing unintentional body contact. Apparently the waiting, the anticipation, the nervousness, weren’t irritating […]


“Yes Means Yes” is the Sexual Burial Ground of the Connection Avoidant

“Yes Means Yes” is a sexual and emotional cemetery for connection-avoidant people. It is a way of punishing women for the irresponsibility of both men and women by requiring overt sign-off on everything. If I wanted to vindictively punish a woman I was with, if I wanted to make her suffer, I would play sexual Simon Says. I would […]